Fear

​Ok. Bone chilling can’t sleep fear.  Describing the summit day in a post you’ll read late, and the fear of not being able to make it, possibly of an embolism too, kept me up on the night before leaving for the mountain.   Far from my wife and family. My loved ones. Crazed. Turning. Cycling in and down upon itself and my annoyance at my own weakness. 

Weakness.  The mountain will challenge you in the weak spots.  I’ve been wondering about my knee. My shoulder.  Nope. It’s between my ears.  Then I heard them. 

First Sandy. Then Jim. Then +George.  Then my mom and dad. Then Paul and Cliff and Gabrielle and on and on the names you know well, you get it. I recalled being beside and holding some of their hands as they faced it down and together there was peace. I wept.  Put on some instrumental Taize chants and then. . . 

Waking this morning as if every part of my body was whole and filled with grace and Jesus. 

We’ll see what happens. Whatever happens. I am not alone.